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My Daycare Nightmare

October 18, 2011

When I first found out I was going to be having a baby, I was so excited!  And so determined to keep my child OUT of daycare, no matter the cost.  I was going to be a stay-at-home mom!  I could barely contain my excitement at the prospect.  It was as I had always wanted.

Not long after I became a mom, I begin to realize how little preparation had gone into making me financially secure enough to be a stay-at-home mom.  I also began agonizing over the life I was providing…or maybe I should say not providing for my little one.  I wanted her to be able to experience the world in ways I never had.  I wanted to be able to provide everything for her that she could ever want.  However, I couldn’t really do that without working and making the money that it would require.

When I first started working again, I went back to work as a part-time professor at a local community college.  Because of the hours, I was able to simply hire some at-home care to come and watch my child during the very few hours I was at work, and be home with her the rest of the time.  That was what I thought was ideal…privatized, at-home care.  However, I unfortunately very quickly realized how difficult it was to find good childcare with people who were willing to watch your child while you were at work, either at your home or theirs.  It was not for lack of me trying!  And I realize that at-home care is much, much more expensive than daycare, but I was willing to pay it!  I just couldn’t find anybody at all who was willing to do it, even with the amount of money I was willing to pay them.

After my stint as a professor, I ended up getting another job, which would require more full-time hours.  I realized that I would have to do that.  As I already mentioned, I would much, much rather have had privatized, at-home care, and I was willing to pay for it, but I could not find anybody I could depend on to do it. 

Going back to work, and agreeing to put my little one in daycare was one of the toughest decisions I have ever had to make.  I agonized over it day and night, and lost a very substantial amount of sleep over the decision.  I finally, after many, many, many hours of agonizing over the decision, and weighing all of the cons and all of the pros, made the decision to go back to work.  It was a very tough decision to make, but it was the one that I thought was best for me and my daughter.  I felt that it would be very selfish of me to stay at home and not be able to provide for her all of the things she deserved.

So, now it came time to actually choose a daycare.  The very first one I chose was very close to where I worked at the time.  One of the guys at my work recommended it, as he had enrolled his children there.  It was literally a couple of blocks from where I worked.  One of the benefits of having her there is that I could drop in on her at any time I wanted or needed.  I could go by and have lunch with her if I wanted to do that.  Also, if they called me from there and she was sick, and I needed to go and pick her up, I could get there very quickly.  I learned not too long after she started going there that it was better for me not to drop in there in the middle of the day for the most part, because she would get very upset when I did that and it was time for me to leave.

Another of the benefits of this particular daycare is that it had secured video on which you could watch your child throughout the day.  I loved that, and the fact that I could log in during the day and watch my child.  It was great being able to do that.  The biggest problem with this particular daycare was the other children.  They would bite and hit my child, and do other things, and she would be coming home with bite marks and other marks regularly.  It just kept on happening, and finally, I decided to move her.  It just didn’t seem like it was ever going to be resolved.

The next daycare she went to had teachers that didn’t like me very much.  They weren’t very friendly at all when I dropped her off.  This daycare also had a secured video system so that I could watch my child while at work.  The teachers at this daycare were very negligent.  One day, when I was watching my child on video at work, I saw the teacher of her class knock my daughter over with a table.  Another time, I saw another child bullying my daughter, and the teacher took a long time to get over there and take care of the problem.  At this particular daycare, they seemed to let the children run all over them and all over each other, and they really didn’t seem to have any control whatsoever over the children.

I then was offered a job that had a significant salary increase…and was a pretty long distance away from the daycare she was at.  So, thankfully, I was able to move her out of that daycare.  This time, I was determined to get it right.  I visited several daycares in the area beforehand.  There was one, in particular, that I liked.  It, like the others, had the secure video streaming.  The teachers were all so nice, and they were willing to work with my child’s special nutritional needs.  It was like a breath of fresh air.  When I walked into that daycare, it almost felt like I was walking into a very familiar territory…like I had known the people there for a very long time.

This daycare is so different from the other ones my daughter was at.  Some daycares have children who have families who don’t really want children.  They pawn their children off during the day to whatever daycare will take them, and are glad to get rid of them for that period of time, and then, when they get home with the children, they don’t parent them when they aren’t at daycare, either.  The daycare that my daugther is at, on the other hand, is filled with children who have parents who, just like me, would stay home if we financially could.  It has mostly children who have parents who love to be parents, and who love to have children, and who are parents outside of daycare to the children they love and that they love having.  The daycare my child is at now has children whose parents pretty much have to work, financially, and don’t really have a choice.  I am so glad I finally found a daycare like that, where my child could be with other children who had similar family situations.  Another awesome thing about the daycare my daughter is at is that she is learning so much, and developing so quickly there.  I am just amazed at all of the things that she gets to do and is able to do now that she is in daycare.  All in all, I am glad she is there, because she is happy and is really thriving there and doing so well.  I know that if she stayed at home with me, we would run out of things to do, and she would probably get bored, and wouldn’t get to do all of the fun things that she gets to do at daycare.  The daycare has people working there who are trained to be with children to help them develop.  I’m really not.  I am trained in the things that I do at my job.  Having a child is very new to me.  I am so glad to have some help, and to be able to provide these things for her, and hopefully a wonderful life filled with things that I never really got to experience.


From → Parenting

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